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Damnit, CVS, quit stealing my packages! I don't want to have to drive to your poorly kept store, talk to your dumb cashiers, and take a mountain of paper receipts for a package, you're not doing me a favor by making me come to a destination for the most infected of my community.

(I know, it's UPSes fault, but their virtual assistants have already hung up on me four times.)

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